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Monthly Archives: April 2015

Sexiest Thing I’ve Ever Done… Grocery Shopping?!

Sexiest Thing I’ve Ever Done… Grocery Shopping?!

The day started out normal enough.  It was stormy last night so none of us slept well.  The kids were in our room by 3am asking to crawl into bed with Mom and Dad.  One succeeded and the other two huddled together in the toddler’s room next door.  At daybreak, we hit the snooze button a few times before tumbling out of bed.  The remainder of the morning was a mad scramble to get ready and get out the door on time.

I usually drop the older kids off at school on my way to work while my wife stays at home with our youngest.  We knew before we left this morning that the kids didn’t have lunch packed, but we also didn’t have time to stop at the grocery store on the way.  Mandi could have taken the kids some food later in the day, but it would have been out of her way, so I decided to run to the store and pick up a Lunchable® to take back to the school after I dropped them off.  Problem solved.  I sent Mandi a quick text to let her know that she didn’t have to worry about the kids’ lunch.

Based on her reaction, this was the most provocative, sensual text message I’ve ever sent.  I may have inadvertently stumbled upon an obscure, enigmatic form of ‘sexting’ where you message your wife a list of chores that you’ve accomplished without being asked.  This message ignites the fires of passion and she texts you back a declaration of her love and unending devotion.  I think I’m onto something here.  I honestly think that if I had told her that I also filled up her vehicle with gas, she would have begged me to come straight home.

LovableLunchableIn Back to the Future Part II, Dr. Emmett L. Brown (Doc) tells Marty that he intends to destroy the time-traveling Delorean.  He explains that, “time-traveling is just too dangerous. Better that I devote myself to study the other great mystery of the universe: women.”

I certainly haven’t unravelled the mystery of women yet, but I did learn this principle several years ago and I was reminded of it today.  God has created men and women differently!

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” -Genesis 1:27

We are all created in the image of God and share so many similarities, but we cannot deny that there are some differences in the way that we are made.  Some of these gender differences will always remain a mystery, just as certain aspects of our wonderfully complex Creator is a mystery.  However, recognizing our differences is important because these differences affect your understanding and ability to please your spouse and create a wonderful, fulfilling marriage.  In short, you will not change your spouse to think and act just like you, so learn the differences and complement one another.

I actually found out the hard way that these difference don’t work in reverse.  We’ve read several excellent books over the years about how to have a successful marriage, and most of them have one chapter for men only and one chapter for women only.  In his book, A Celebration of Sex, Dr. Douglas Rosenau, a Christian marriage and family therapist, was no exception.  He even gave husbands and wives tips on how to arouse your spouse.  To the men he suggested things like, “Clear the table and load the dishwasher after dinner, wash and dry a load of laundry, or watch the kids and give your wife some time alone for a hot bath.”  I remember thinking, “Are you kidding me?! This stuff is a turn-on for women?!”

Then I flipped over to the chapter labeled “For Women Only” and read something much more interesting.  In my mind, the tips Dr. Doug gave the women on arousing their husbands sounded much more compelling.  One item in particular on this list caught my attention, and I thought we’d give it a try since the men’s list just sounded like alot of housework.  Tip #3 read,

“Don’t wear any underwear to a social gathering, and tell your husband on the way out the door. You’ll drive him crazy all day!”

The next opportunity we had to attend a “social gathering” was on a Sunday.  At a church.  Where I was leading worship.

That Sunday morning while I was driving, I looked over at my beautiful bride in the passenger’s seat, lowered my voice and said, “Hey, guess what… I’m not wearing any underwear…”  I probably don’t need to tell you that this statement did not achieve the intended results.  When I got the car back on the road, between punches and through clenched teeth I could just make out Mandi saying, “You’re not wearing underwear?! You’ve got to lead worship!!”  For the sake of the people involved, I won’t tell you when or where I was singing that day.

There really should be a warning label on marriage books like that, so consider my example before you try to reverse roles.  It was a hard lesson learned, but we look back on it and laugh now.  Mandi and I had the opportunity to meet Dr. Rosenau just a few weeks ago at a marriage retreat with the 10,000 Fathers Worship School and I shared our story with him over dinner.  He got a kick out of it, but he also took the opportunity to say, “I told you so.”

We are created different, but we should celebrate those differences and complement one another, not try to change each other.  I’m an extrovert and Mandi is an introvert so it used to drive me crazy when she would avoid calling someone on the phone.  I would try to “fix” her by forcing her to make calls, even if it was something simple like ordering pizza.  Now I understand more about her personality and her comfort level and I truly have her best interests at heart.  I’m perfectly capable of ordering pizza and I know she really appreciates not having to speak to people over the phone.  Neither is right or wrong; just different and complementary.

Screen Shot 2015-04-21 at 12.00.05 AMBecome an expert on your spouse.  Check out Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages, and learn how to speak your spouse’s language.  Take a personality profile together like the Myers-Briggs test to learn more about one another and how your personalities differ.  Above all, God’s Word tells us to “put on a heart of compassion and patience” (Colossians 3:12).  If you love your wife, then you’ll want to know her, to understand her, to have empathy for her so you can love her more.  It’s what we want in marriage: to know and be known by another in the safety of unconditional love.

Now if you’ll excuse me, the dishwasher just finished a cycle and I think I hear my wife calling my name.


If you’d like to know more about some of the resources that I mentioned, click here to see a list of books that have been a tremendous help to me and Mandi in our marriage and as we raise a family.  God Bless.


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Posted by on April 21, 2015 in Family, Personal

 

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Marriage and Family Resources

Here is a list of resources that have been a tremendous help in our marriage and as we raise a family (books are listed in no particular order).  We sincerely hope these Christ-centered resources will help you as much as they have helped us.  If you haven’t read my post about some of these resources in action, check it out here.  You might enjoy a good laugh.  And if we can ever be of any service to you, please feel free to contact us.


Screen Shot 2015-04-21 at 12.00.05 AMThe 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
by Dr. Gary Chapman

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love-that’s the challenge! How can you keep your relationship fresh and growing amid the demands and conflicts and just plain boredom of everyday life?

In the #1 New York Times bestselling book The 5 Love Languages, you’ll discover the secret that has transformed millions of relationships worldwide. Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner-starting today.


Screen Shot 2015-04-20 at 11.58.53 PMThe Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love
by Tim and Beverly LaHaye

For engaged couples and newlyweds who want to make lovemaking a joy from the start . . . For couples who have been married for years and want to maintain the flame or rekindle the embers . . . for every husband or wife who wants to be a better lover — here are the insights into each other’s bodies, psychosexual makeup, and need for tender, unselfish affection that can help you achieve your goal. With over 2.5 million copies in print, The Act of Marriage has helped thousands of Christian couples maximize their joy in sexual union and saved countless marriages. Pastors, doctors, and psychologists alike have endorsed the frank, practical insights.


Screen Shot 2015-04-20 at 10.28.26 PMA Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God’s Gift of Sexual Intimacy
by Dr. Douglas E. Rosenau

Dr. Douglas Rosenau is a licensed psychologist, and a Christian sex therapist who has for the past seventeen years used his training in theology and counseling to help Christian couples enrich and reclaim God’s wonderful gift of sexuality within marriage.

A Celebration of Sex answers specific, often unasked questions about sexual topics, presents married couples with detailed techniques and behavioral skills for deepening sexual pleasure and intimate companionship, and is an excellent tool for premarital education.


HisNeedsHerNeedsHis Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage
by Willard F. Jr. Harley

In the classic bestseller His Needs, Her Needs, Willard F. Harley, Jr., identifies the ten most vital needs of men and women and shows husbands and wives how to satisfy those needs in their spouses. He provides guidance for becoming irresistible to your spouse and for loving more creatively and sensitively, thereby eliminating the problems that often lead to extramarital affairs.

This revised and expanded edition has been updated throughout and includes new writing that highlights the special significance of intimate emotional needs in marriage.


RedHotMonogomyRed-Hot Monogamy: Making Your Marriage Sizzle
by Bill & Pam Farrel

With their trademark insight, humor, and candid personal perspectives, Bill and Pam Farrel reveal the truths about the sexual relationship in marriage and what husbands and wives need to know to keep the embers burning.

  • Sex is like fireworks!–why a little skill turns marriage into red-hot monogamy
  • How sex works best emotionally, physically, and physiologically
  • How to avoid the pleasure thieves that steal your chance for fulfillment

The Farrels present difficult-to-discuss topics and biblical truths in universal language with sensitivity, fun, and understanding.


Screen Shot 2015-04-21 at 12.21.32 AMRekindling the Romance: Loving the Love of Your Life
by Dennis & Barbara Rainey

By God’s design, romance is supposed to be the flame in the fireplace of marital intimacy. Yet far too many Christian couples feel cheated because their marriage produces as much spark as a book of wet matches. Others have neglected to fan the flames of passion for so long that they have lost hope of experiencing romance.

Rekindling the Romance is organized into short, biblically-based chapters. Packed with practical insight, this tastefully candid and inviting resource provides the Christian couple with the keys to unlock their relational and sexual intimacy.


FAMILY RESOURCES


ToTrainUpTo Train Up a Child
by Michael & Debi Pearl

Three thousand years ago, a wise man said, “Train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Good training is not crisis management; it is what you do before the need of discipline arises. Most parenting is accidental rather than deliberate. Imagine building a house that way. We don’t need to reinvent training. There are child training principles and methods that have worked from antiquity. To neglect deliberate training is to shove your child into a sea of choices and passions without a boat of compass. This book is not about discipline, nor problem children. The emphasis is on the training of a child before the need to discipline arises. It is apparent that, though they expect obedience, most parents never attempt to train their child to obey. They wait until the behavior becomes unbearable and then explode. With proper training, discipline can be reduced to 5% of what many now practice. As you come to understand the difference between training and discipline, you will have a renewed vision for your family, no more raised voices, no contention, no bad attitudes, fewer spankings, a cheerful atmosphere in the home and total obedience from your children.


OrphanologyOrphanology: Awakening to Gospel-Centered Adoption and Orphan Care
by Tony Merida and Rick Morton

Orphanology unveils the grassroots movement that’s engaged in a comprehensive response to serve hundreds of millions of orphans and “functionally parentless” children.  You’ll see a breadth of ways to care with biblical perspective and reasons why we must. Heartwarming, personal stories and vivid illustrations from a growing network of families, churches, and organizations that cross culture show how to respond to God’s mandate. The book empowers:
– churches—to plan preaching, teaching, ministering, missions, funding adoption, supporting orphans;
– individuals and families—to overcome challenges and uncertainties;
– every believer—to gain insights to help orphans in numerous ways.

 
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Posted by on April 21, 2015 in Family

 

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